Look at anything that’s written or made. They go to the history of the world and lift from them an interpretation, no matter how obscure, and create what they will. And you can cross genres. The story of Paradise Lost placed into futuristic dystopia terms, the horrors of a second world war twisted into the fantasy setting of Tolkien, a nuclear holocaust in clean, springy, 60’s America (God, I love Fallout 3).

But remember this. While any writer will be able to take the ingredients that others have used and bake a cake, the truly special ones will always add something unique to that mix. They’ll see the potential in something that no-one else has seen and put it to good use. Don’t reassure yourself with ‘it’s okay ’cause everyone else is doing it’. Look for something special and keep it to yourself, patiently hoarding it away until the time comes that you’re confident that you won’t waste it, that you have the skill and the ingredients. Christ, maybe even make sure you’re well known first before unleashing the masterpiece bubbling away in the pot. Then, when you’re ready, let it loose. Remember when you’ve ever said ‘God, how did they come up with that one?’ Take pride. Because if done correctly, people will be saying that about your works too.

Or they might say ‘Fuck is this supposed to be?’ Shit happens. No refunds.

I’ve been thinking the same things myself. It came to me when I sat down with my novel determined to change it from fanfiction, only to discover that practically every image and metaphor I’ve used isn’t mine, they belong to the two people I’ve written about. I was worried about this but then I realised that I wrote it better than either of those (real) people could write them. But enough about me.

Plagiarism is unavoidable. We write what we know because if we write what we don’t know then we can’t write. There have been dozens, maybe hundreds, of times where I’ve changed what I wanted to say, changed when I was going to say it, how to say it, to smile or to frown or to cry, just to get that perfect scene. I can only hope that those concerned will read me some day and recognise themselves in my writing (and, at the same moment, a hundred strangers to recognise themselves, to stop and wonder if they’ve ever known me, to sit and cry at how banal and ununique their lives are).

With plagiarism we write truth, and if we write truth then we are great, so fuck those we rip off because they’ve never done anything as great with their lives as we will.

But really my point is how far can you take plagiarism. I steal lines, phrases and scenarios from just about everybody and I feel weird sometimes when it’s people I’m close to. Like I’m ripping them off, which is fine so long as they’re not writers themselves. Circle of plagiarism.

I like music.

I was likened to him one day in work as I swept down the aisle with my black work shirt undone, a black undershirt revealed, and fluttering free in a veritable ‘fuck-you’ to the new rule that demands shirts to be buttoned and tucked in. And my long curly hair framed a face set with the miserable resolve of a guy with no time to smile at old people.

That said, I have also been likened to a miserable and smelly wee bugger with hair like a burst mattress.

As for copying and plagiarism, I wrote a few things to that effect as inspired by the Lit Tech class and the idea for a book in the style of 1984 and Brave New World, also with plagiarism and the trodding of the same ideas over and over again as the underlying theme.

And why am I telling you all this? Because we’re the narcissist generation. Fucking hooray for that. Good luck cutting up Che Guevara, you little pint-sized plagiariser, you.

How very foolish of me.

you don’t want the kremlin on your crotch